I recently had the opportunity to read The Secure Leader: Discover the Hidden Forces That Shape Your Leadership Story – and How to Change Them, a new book by Dr. Jaime Goff, a leadership coach and speaker who also happens to be Director of Leadership Development at Christus Health. I first met Dr. Goff while speaking about Connection Culture to leaders and managers at Christus, an international health system based in Texas. Her background in both leadership development and family therapy brings a fresh, deeply insightful perspective to leadership.
Defining Leadership’s Hidden Forces and Examples of Their Real-World Impact
The subtitle of the book references “hidden forces.” This is a nod to attachment theory, first identified by the British psychiatrist John Bowlby around the time of World War II. Attachment psychology highlights how our early-life experiences shape the brain, nervous system, and ultimately our ability to connect with others. As Dr. Goff explains, “During the earliest months and years of life, your mind and body began to subconsciously make sense of your world, writing a story that continues to influence you, not only personally but also professionally.” For leaders, these unseen forces influence how we build trust, foster connection, and create cultures where people thrive… or don’t.
Is your attachment story one that is secure, insecure-anxious, or insecure-avoidant? This book will help you understand what each of those mean and how they play out in adulthood and in your leadership style.
I’ve observed that leaders who have a secure attachment story—who have been loved well and honored along the way—find it easier to extend that same respect and care to those they lead. I’ve seen this dynamic in leaders I profiled in the 2nd edition of Connection Culture—Alan Mulally (Ford), Frances Hesselbein (Girl Scouts), Howard Behar (Starbucks), Admiral Vern Clark (U.S. Navy), Jim Sinegal (Costco), and Lin-Manuel Miranda (Hamilton, In the Heights), to name a few.
Doug Conant, the CEO who led Campbell Soup’s turnaround, is a powerful example. Conant often credited his grandparents and mentor Neil MacKenna for shaping his leadership. MacKenna, a decorated WWII veteran and Harvard Business School graduate, was fully present, deeply attentive, and genuinely invested in Conant’s growth. That honoring experience built a lifelong bond—and it fueled Conant’s own capacity to lead with care and conviction.
Should you come to recognize that you have an insecure attachment story and it is holding you back, the good news is that you can change. One step is identifying and letting go of any assumptions or self-protective strategies you may have used in your childhood because of the environment you were in that may be barriers to success in the environment you are in now.
Through the use of stories and exercises, Dr. Goff will guide you through evaluating and rewriting your leadership story. It’s a journey she has navigated too. She understands it’s a process to move to and embrace a secure attachment story—not a one-and-done accomplishment—and that there will be times when you will need to be intentional about not reverting to old methods so the book includes maintenance exercises as well.
Why Read This Book
Why should managers and leaders read this book? Three reasons stand out:
- It’s personally transformative. Leaders who read it gain tools to better understand their own attachment style and how it shapes the way they connect with and lead others. I’m using it in my coaching practice.
- It’s grounded in research and experience. From my 20+ years in the leadership field, including time spent with many leading researchers, I can confirm that Dr. Goff’s work is aligned with what we know about effective leadership.
- It’s concise and practical. Leaders are pressed for time, and this book respects that. It’s short, clear, and filled with actionable insights you can apply right away.
The Bottom Line
The Secure Leader is an excellent resource for any leader who wants to elevate their impact. I recommend reading it with a team or peer group, then discussing what you learned, how it applies to your leadership, and the concrete steps you’ll take as a result.
Congratulations to Dr. Jaime Goff for producing a book leaders everywhere will benefit from.
About the Author
Michael Lee Stallard, MBA, JD, is a thought leader, speaker and leading expert on how human connection in workplace cultures affects the health and performance of individuals and organizations. In addition to Fired Up or Burned Out, he is the primary author of Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work.
